Cancer, Kids and Ethics Grab bag

Are you guys watching this show about cancer on PBS right now? I can't turn it off, but I want to because I really don't like seeing children die. Man, how do people have kids? I mean, I know how people have kids, but how do people decide to have kids? I'm not trying to alienate anyone reading this with children, or, you know, my parents. I totally get the impulse to be a parent -- I am confident that, if I had kids, they would be attractive, intelligent, talented people, and on the one hand, I certainly don't want to deprive the world of that. On the other hand, the number of things that can go wrong is staggering to me. It's almost like playing God (I mean, depending on your conceptualization of God, but let's not go into that right now). Sure, when you have kids you love them deeply (hopefully), and I imagine there's a lot of joy in that experience. But you're also guaranteeing (and apologies for the melodrama) that someone will suffer and die. I apologize if I'm about to lose some of you here, but I read this book a few years ago about why the universe exists, and it discussed at one point the moral nature of the universe (that is, is our universe a "good" or a "bad" place?). Basically, the philosopher said that, statistically, the universe is probably average, and so the universe is probably a morally neutral place. It seems to me that that's a relevant consideration when deciding whether or not to have kids.

Ok so hear me out here, because I sort of feel like this metaphor is meaningful on a few levels: first of all, in sort of a literal way, we'd all like to think our children will be good people, but all things being equal, our children, on average, will only be morally average people (although to a certain extent I'm sure you can influence this with good parenting). They'll also be average along any number of dimensions: health, happiness, intelligence, successfulness. I'm sure you can think of others. Children are, of course, human beings, including your children, reader, be they real or hypothetical. Human beings are all flawed, and we all experience pain and suffering and unhappiness, some in greater amounts than others. Again, I certainly don't necessarily think that means that people should never have children, I just think it makes the decision to have children rather ethically fraught. The decision to bring new human beings into the world carries significant risk, including the possibility that your child will develop cancer at 2 and die in a hospital at 6. Is it still worth it to have that child? I don't know -- maybe, but maybe not. It just strikes me that a lot of the things we call "unthinkable" aren't unthinkable, we just haven't thought about them yet, and they are worth thinking about.

This is obviously not terribly well thought-out at this point, I just started thinking about it last night and clearly haven't exactly figured out how I feel yet. I'm aware that this isn't merely an academic exercise for you, and that it's likely some of my readers have experienced the death of a child or a sibling or someone else close to them. I certainly hope I don't come across as glib, it's certainly not my intent, and I apologize again if any of this strikes you as insensitive (and please tell me if it does). Let me know what you think, especially if you have kids -- I'm sure you've thought about this more than I have, and have significantly more insight.