Last Saturday night, after a great/sad evening saying goodbye to Will, I went to sleep around 2:30 AM and woke up when my blood sugar went low about an hour later. I was having a pretty awesome dream about Harry Styles, so I was a bit disoriented when I woke up, but my first thought was, "You know, there aren't enough bats in this cave, I'm glad that one's here." I don't know where that came from, but it took me a few minutes to wake up enough to establish that, a) I was not still asleep, and b) there was actually a bat in my bedroom. Because I always stay cool under pressure, what I did next was start shrieking and cower under my covers while the bat made quick laps around my room. After it sounded like the bat had stopped flying around, I came out from under the blankets, turned on the light, and established that the bat was momentarily out of sight. I figured there wouldn't be anyone able to consult me about how to deal with a bat in my apartment at 3:45 in the morning, but I found an article on WikiHow that claimed that if you opened a door or a window to the outdoors, the bat would be attracted to the smell of the fresh air and would fly out. Although I was hoping, at this point, that the bat had somehow left the way it got in, I suspected it was still in my bedroom somewhere, so I got up to open the front door.
When I opened the door between my bedroom and the living room, I was surprised to see that the bat had somehow managed to get into the next room. Now this was troubling, because the door had been completely closed, so I had to assume I was dealing with some kind of quantum bat that could get through solid surfaces. I slammed the door shut and sat down on my bed, where I started hyperventilating, because, again, I'm always cool under pressure. While I tried to get my breathing under control, I heard a noise and turned to see, to my absolute horror, the bat crawling under the door. I got into the fetal position on my bed and started shouting profanities while the bat began flying around my room again. I was really hoping that the earth would just swallow me up at that moment, but I knew that, if I was going to survive, I was going to have to get up and open the front door. So I ran through my apartment screaming, and held the door open. I could see the bat flying around from room to room, but after a few minutes it must have figured things out, because it flew out, no doubt very happy to get away from me. I'm sure it wasn't the best night for either of us.
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