Before I tell you about the Antiques Roadshow (I know you're all DYING to read about it), let me share the ridiculous day I'm having with you. I am at the Minneapolis airport en route to an EM conference in Emmitsburg, MD right now, and things are not going so well. I mean, they're going not a whole lot worse than the best they could be going, but the best they could be going is not very well, so... yeah. Yesterday I realized I had been ripped off by the airline I'm flying (Spirit Airlines, I'm looking at you). Guys, don't fly this airline. Yeah, the tickets are super cheap, but they charge you $40 for a carry-on. A carry-on, you guys. I also checked a bag, so my total baggage charge came to an incredible $170, which, on top of the price of the ticket, gas, and the long-term parking, means that I definitely could have flown out of Fargo for less. Oh well, live and learn. I was concerned about my baggage because I have to bring a poster to this conference, and I really didn't want to have to pay for another carry-on, and definitely didn't want to pay for another checked bag, but this poster was 3 feet long and just wasn't going to fit in another bag. I was really kind of freaking out about this, as is my wont, and after I woke up and starting panicking at 5 AM, I devised a plan that is either brilliant or really stupid. This poster is printed on sticky paper and is going to end up being attached to a tri-fold board (which I'll get to in a minute), and I thought to myself, why don't I double my chances of screwing up the attachment of the poster to the board and cut this thing in half? So that's what I did, and now the poster fits in a smaller poster tube that fits in my checked bag. Problem solved, for now. Anyway, my flight was supposed to leave at 4:45, but it's been delayed two hours, which means I don't get into Baltimore until after 10. Once I get in, I have a whole new adventure to look forward to. I knew a 36" by 48" tri-fold poster board definitely wasn't going to fit in my luggage, so I wisely decided to find a board once I arrived on the East Coast, between (originally) 8 PM and 7:45 AM, when the poster has to be set up. The problem with this plan is that none of the office supplies stores in the world are open between 8 PM and 7:45 AM. Luckily, Wal-Mart is open 24 hours a day (I feel awful for how grateful I am for Wal-Mart right now), and as of Friday afternoon, they had tri-fold poster boards that were the right size. So I'm going to go to a Wal-Mart at 11 PM, buy a poster board, and then drive another hour and a half to the conference on, you know, roads I've never been on before after midnight. I may get the supplemental insurance on the rental car. I've got to get the poster set up, get a few hours of sleep and then conference all-day tomorrow. Luckily, I'm so frustrated with the logistics of this whole experience (my own fault, of course), and will be so tired tomorrow that I won't have any energy to be stressed out about the actual presentation!
Whatever happens tonight and tomorrow, Tuesday-Tuesday is going to be great because I'll be in DC with a good 30% of my favorite people in the world. I made a long list last night of all the things I want to do when I'm there, and a longer list of all the food I want to eat. The only reason I decided to leave on Tuesday instead of Sunday is so that I can go to Mass and then have the tofu scramble at Le Pain Quotidien. So, so excited.
But I also promised you I'd tell you about the Roadshow, so: as Jared promised, the I-94 to Bismarck is pretty much totally straight, although it's hillier than it is going east to Minneapolis. There is so little traffic that the few billboards along the way are just jokes about North Dakota. I'm getting pretty good at driving for (relatively) long periods of time, and the 2 1/2 hour drive felt totally reasonable. Bismarck is... well, fine. I was so excited I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to the surroundings. I got all kinds of Antiques Roadshow swag once I got into the civic center, and, when I got into the room where the appraisals were happening I was embarrassingly giddy. I brought four of Uncle Norm's Japanese prints (I should have brought one more antique, again, live and learn), and got in line in the Asian arts station. While I was waiting I watched Mark Walberg doing the introductory remarks and practically lost my mind. My appraiser was this lady who I didn't recognize, but I did know one of the other appraisers at the table. She really knew what she was talking about, and rattled off the names of all the artists, as well as what some of the markings on the prints meant. The prints are framed so she wasn't able to tell if they were all originals, but she did tell me that the whole collection was worth about $500, which was less than I was hoping but certainly isn't too shabby. They didn't film my appraisal, but I did go to the Feedback Booth afterward, so hopefully you'll see me on TV when the episode airs. I'll keep you posted. The whole experience for me was over after about an hour and a half, so I was able to get back to Fargo earlier than I expected. Keeping my fingers crossed I'll be able to go again sometime.
Well, I'm going to go back to wandering around my terminal feeling sorry for myself. If you're in DC and want to get together, or put me up for a few days (for her sake, I don't want Grace to have to deal with me for a whole week), let me know!
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